The ONLY thing that can make my chocolate cake better. . . peanut butter and Reese's!!
If you want to absolutely ruin this perfect cake, you get get Betty Cock-n-Her's Devil's food cake. . . but you'll be wasting your GD time
Playlist: Usually some good ol' 90's country. Tonight I'm feelin' some Pam Tillis
If you want to do this right, hop over to my cake recipe and make that bitch, but line a large jelly-roll pan with parchment, 'cause you're gonna want a long flat cake to roll up
Ingredients: Cake
2 cups sugar
1 3/4 cups flour
3/4 cup Cocoa (unsweetened)
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
1 cup milk
1/2 cup peanut oil (can use vegetable oil, I like the peanut)
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 cup boiling water (what? Boiling?!)
Ingredients: Filling
6oz Cream cheese (you're gonna waste 1/4 of it, unless you have a freak child that likes to eat it, then. . . fly that freak flag)
1 cup peanut butter
3 cups powdered sugar
1 tablespoon vanilla (the real shit, not that imitation bullshit)
3/4 cup heavy whipping cream (you may not use it all, but. . . you'll see)
Reese Cups. . . I use a hella lot. I mix it up with the regular ones, and the Unwrapped erect-nipple-sized ones (never gonna see them the same again, are ya?!)
Ingredients: Ganache
The what? Gah-nash. Chocolate topping that makes it pretty and covers up the fact that you can't unroll a cake for shit.
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
2/3 heavy cream
Okay, I got all my shit. . . now what?
Make the cake, dumbass. I keep telling you to GO TO MY CAKE RECIPE (I need the click traffic, can you tell?) mix accordingly, but then dump that bitch into the giant jelly roll pan. I use big ol' 10.5 x 15.5 suckas. The cake will only need to cook about 15-2-min. Soon as that baby's all nice & poofy in the middle, pull
her out, let her cool in the pan for about 10min, then remove with parchment from the pan, let cool another 20min, or until down to room temprature. Sprinkle a little powdered sugar on her, then gently, gently, gently roll it up with the parchment paper and put in the fridge for at least an hour.
Now, let's make some cream fillin'.
Whip out the trusty KitchenAid mixer (or. . . not) using a paddle attachment (or the regular boring egg beaters because you're cheap), beat together your cream cheese, peanut butter, vanilla until smooth. Start mixing in your powdered sugar slowly, gently, like she says she wants it. Don't go giving it all to her all fast and hard, or you're gonna end up making a mess all over the gawd damned kitchen.
Once all your powdered sugar is in, is may be a little chalky. That's cool. Here's why we gots the creamy goodness of heavy cream. Add about 1/4 cup at a time until the consistency is just right (I almost always end up using all of it, still add slowly). Once it's the texture you can spread it, but not so much that you pour it, you're ready.
Whip it out. LORD, NO NOT THAT. The cake, from the fridge!
Very gently unroll the cake, it may crack/break. It's okay, we're gonna glue it together with the ganache later, just take it slow, and be sure to get all the cake off the paper as you unroll it. Now spread all your filling over the entire cake, save about 1" from the edges, 'cause it will squeeze out to fill. Chop up about 6 or 8 full size Reese Cups and sprinkle around your peanut-buttery-happiness. Then throw some of those nipple sized bits for kicks.
Now, using the parchment that should still be under the cake, carefully roll it back up, again, carefully making sure the cake isn't sticking to the paper.
Now stand back and. . . . it's ugly as fuck, ain't it? THAT'S FINE, WE AIN'T DONE YET.
Put that bitch in the fridge (I hope you put it on a plate while you were rolling it back up) and put your 1 cup chocolate chips and 2/3 heavy cream in a bowl & microwave for 1 minute. Whisk it, whisk it good! Keep going, whisk it for about a minute, it should emulsify (all mix together, don't Google it), if it doesn't, nuke it another 15 seconds at a time until it does. Once it's creamy, waxy looking & smooth. . . and warm. . . cool it off. That's right. It's too damned runny now. Put it in the fridge for 30min, stirring about every 10. Once it starts to thicken up again (don't. . . don't forget about it. Watch one episode of the office, should be about right), pour that glorious deliciousness over the cake, then top with as many Reese's Cups and nipples you want!
BOOM. Keep in fridge until ready to devour.
Nutrition Facts:
Doesn't matter. It's worth it.
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