Far back as I can remember (which will never be more than 38yr, ever) I remember anytime Uncle Pete (not his real name, I just learned this. No wonder I have trust issues) wanted this dessert. No idea why I remember this, but I do. This is now something you know. You're welcome.
Playlist: 90's Pop
Ingredients:
Filling
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup all purpose flour (or 3 tablespoons cornstarch)
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 cups milk
3 slightly beaten egg yolks (don’t ruin them, just rough ‘em up a bit)
Save the whites. You’re gonna need them for the meringue.
2 tablespoons butter (better be soft)
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 cup flaked coconut (may as well be sweetened, you’re getting diabetes anyways)
Meringue instructions follow the recipe, you'll have time to read them while the pie cools
If you're feeling adventurous, you can make the crust, too! I wont' hate you if you just buy the frozen shit. Follow the directions, and don't blame me if you hate it. I'm tellin' you next how to make this shit from scratch:
Ingredients:
Sweet Pie Crust
1/2 cup self-rising flour
1/8 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 stick butter, softened (NOT melted leave it on the counter. . . like. I. Keep. Saying)
1/4 cup chopped pecans (call it Pee-Cans so you feel southern)
Get your cream pie on
Oven, 350
Grease up your glass pie-pan (don't have one? Welp. You're fucked now). Mix your flour & brown sugar real good (no, don't have to use cold ass butter and a pastry cutter for this), add your soft butter and stir until good & smooth. Stir in your pecans. Spread into pie pan. I use the back of a measuring cup to get it good & even. Get up the sides too.
Bake at 350 for about 5-10min until poofy & starting to tan. Take from oven & set aside to cool.
Get busy with the filling:
In a decent sized saucepan (3qt should do), combine sugar, flour and salt; gradually stir in milk. Cook and stir over medium heat until bubbly. Cook and stir 2 minutes more after the bubble, stirring constantly. . . CONSTANTLY. It’s milk, dumbass. You're gonna be here a while, pull up a stool & watch some Friends re-runs.
Once it's bubbled for 2min, remove from heat.
Spoon in a small amount of hot mixture into yolks you forgot to beat until now, then return this to the hot mixture; cook 2 minutes, stirring constantly. (gotta heat the eggs without making scrambled eggs. . . scrambled egg coconut pie isn’t the name of this recipe)
Remove from heat. . . again.
Add the butter, vanilla and coconut; stir like a mother-fucker. Pour into whichever pastry shell you made (you didn’t forget to make the fucking crust, did you?!) and bake at 350° for 12 to 15 minutes. Watch. It. Closely. Don't burn it.
Meringue:
Put your room temperature egg whites in a glass or metal mixing bowl.
Using a hand-mixer (not giving you shit for lack of KitchenAid this time), beat the egg whites until they appear frothy in texture.
Add 1/8th teaspoon of Cream of Tartar. . . 1 jar of this shit is gonna get passed to your grandkids, by the way.
Crank up mixer speed and beat until the egg whites form soft peaks. (that means they're kinda limp)
Add ¼ cup sugar. Continue to whip, increasing speed as needed until the egg whites thicken and form firm peaks (they stand-up tall, cream-pie-worthy). Do not overwork the egg whites as it will cause them to lose volume and you’re fucked, but not in a cream-pie-kinda way.
Use a spatula and gently spread the meringue over your cooling creampie.
Gently dab the spatula up and down in the meringue to form small swirls and peaks.
Put your pie back into the 350 degree oven and bake for 10 to 15 minutes. Watch it carefully so the meringue doesn't burn. It just needs to be slightly toasted and browned. Don’t walk away from it. . . it’ll burn, guaranteed. Kid screaming? They’re fine. Don’t walk away from the oven. You’ll regret it.
Remove from oven, let cool completely, refrigerate until cold then serve.
Nutrition:
Type 2 Diabetes
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