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Writer's pictureLogan VanLandingham

Fried pickles, onion rings, fried mushrooms. . . fried everything

Updated: Mar 21, 2021

This easy beer batter is great for everything! Shrimp? Got it. Pickles? The best. 'Shrooms? Bingo. Onion rings? Bammo.


Everything is better fried!



Playlist: Divinyls/Touch myself, Walk the Moon/Shut up & dance with me


Ingredients

1 1/2 cup flour

1/2 cup corn starch

2 teaspoons salt

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

1 teaspoon paprika

1/2 teaspoon black pepper

1 teaspoon baking powder

12oz cold beer

Some sort of oil for frying (I use peanut oil)


Sauce? SAUCE!

1 Tablespoon ketchup

1 Tablespoon mayo

1 tablespoon cream style horseradish sauce

Sprinkle Cayenne pepper

Sprinkle chili powder

Sprinkle salt

Sprinkle pepper

Mix it, fridge it.


Let's get fried

Fire up your fry daddy, or start heating up your oil to 375.


Whatever you're frying, get it ready. If pickles, use dill chips. Lay out several layers thick paper towels & lay a single layer of pickles out, then cover with more paper towels. Get 'em pretty dry, or the batter won't stick, and you'll blame my recipe, when in fact, you can't take instructions well. My recipes are fucking gold and you know it. If you're doing 'shrooms, wash them & dry them, blahblahblah. Basically same shit no matter what you're frying. I'm done talking about it now.


Sift together all your dry ingredients, get 'em good & mixed up, then throw in the beer (you filthy drunk, you drank it all, go get another). Whisk together, fast and hard just like she wants it, until smooth, no lumps. . . also how she wants it.


Now, drop your pickle into the batter, flip it to be good & coated, then drop it like it's (about to be) hot! Make damned sure you get oil on you, 'cause if you ain't cussin', you ain't frying.


Do small batches, no more than 10 pieces or the oil cools and you're screwed with soggy shit, and you'll once again try to blame the recipe, when it's in fact you, trying to cook while drunk. Again.




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