Crazy tasty, perfect with coffee. Makes enough to share. Dip these bitches in coffee for about 1-2 seconds to soak in the caffeinated happiness. Any longer and you've ruined both the coffee & the biscotti.
INGREDIENTS
1-3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, measure it heaping a bit
1 teaspoon baking soda
3/4 teaspoon salt
1 stick unsalted butter, at room temp because you listened and keep it on the counter
3/4 cup granulated sugar, heap that shit, too
2 large eggs
2 teaspoons vanilla extract (the good stuff, not imitation)
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or dark chocolate, , milk chocolate. . . whatever tickles your pickle)
Now what?
Oven to 350 degrees and parchment paper on a baking sheet.
In a medium bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt.
In the bowl of your KitchenAid (cheap ass), cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, 1-2 minutes. If you’re not using the rubber edged paddle, scrape down the bowl a few times to make sure it’s all mixed in there. Add the eggs, one at a time, scraping down the bowl and mixing well after each. Beat in the vanilla, just a smidge.
Mix sifted dry ingredients into the butter sugar shit. Mix just a bit, then add chocolate chips & finish mixing just until you don’t see flour pockets. Don’t over mix it. Don’t fuck this up.
Dust a work surface with flour. Scrape dough out onto the floured surface. It will be sticky. Don’t panic. Cut in half (or tear in about half like the animal you are), take each half and put on the baking sheet, form each into a football shape, then lightly flour the top and roll out. Use just enough flour to keep from sticking to everything. Roll nice & slow until they are about ¾” deep, and 3” wide. If using one sheet, leave enough room for expansion while they cook
Bake for about 20-25 minutes, until firm to the touch. Your kids will come in 47 times and ask when the brownies will be done. Hit them.
Let the biscotti logs cool on the pan for about 5 minutes, or until just cool enough to touch (if you wait any longer, the biscotti will be hard to cut. Do like me, use your dead-hand to do it while they are stupid hot, freaks people out); then, using a serrated knife, cut the logs on the diagonal into 3/4-inch slices (I do this right on the baking sheet, slow, slow, long saws. Don’t rush it or you’re just gonna smash them). Turn the biscotti on their sides (so that the cut sides are down/up) and place back in the oven for 10 minutes to dry and crisp up. Let cool on the pan for a few minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely. Serve with coffee, tea (no, coffee) or warm milk (Wrong. Coffee).
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